The Kid Casino

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

A WORD ABOUT “INTELLIGENT” SHOES & DUMB SOULS

– Or, Boosting Your Boots’ IQ …But Still Running Around in Circles? –

By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian linguist from the University of Ecum Secum in Old Sweat, Nova Scotia (with an abiding interest in the history of fetish footwear, how an Old Mother managed to raise her brood in a shoe, and why one sportswear company decided to market an “intelligent” sneaker in a world full of tortoises and hares with two left feet)

The other day I set out on a scientific expedition of sorts to figure out if “smart technology” had been invented by a handful of “smart alecks”, “smart assess” and “smarty pants” to aid the ineffectual, inept and incompetent who populate the planet.

Judging from our wide wide world of wonk, we have a fine array of wayward souls to choose from including dingbats, dorks, dumbbells, dunderheads, and dweebs (plus their close-relatives, the affable but nevertheless intellectually-impaired nincompoops, ninny-hammers, nudniks, and numskulls), it’s difficult to see just who “smart technology” would appeal to.

Being an “egghead”, I’m used to living on the margins of society with “nerdy geeks” and “aliens from outer space”. Like my humble companions, I’m committed to undertaking a perilous journey in search of the “Big Bang” (the event that gave birth to the blessed universe), the “Big Bird” (the one who presides over the entire blinking place), and the “Big Bad Wolf” (the darned devil in disguise who makes a mess by eating little grannies and blowing houses down just for the heck of it).

My first inkling that we had a problem was a glance at my on-line vault of vacuous thoughts, vapid experiences and very vexing pieces of misinformation. Sure enough, my super-duper search engine revealed some delightfully dubious data:

125,000 web pages devoted to “smart technology” (with another 818,000 web pages dedicated to “smart people”) and

587 web pages dedicated to “dumb technology” (with a whopping 4,450,000 web page devoted to “dummies”, and an additional 129,000 web pages exposing all manner of things about “dumb people”).

Clearly these trivial tidbits of truth leave a lot to be desired. One could easily conclude, erroneously of course, that our lonely planet is inhabited by a plethora of “dummies”. The first clue might be the fact that the “dumbfounded” elements of our society appear to outnumber the “smarty pant” folks by a factor of 4:1. Second, it would appear that “intelligent” tools and technologies do not rank high on everyone’s hit parade of “fun” things to do or play with, (judging from the long list of consumer complaints and the short list of extraterrestrials who’ve actually dropped by for a peek at this peculiar place or declined to leave hospitable greetings).

It’s rather amazing indeed that “smart” folks with their “smart personal object technology” - (SPOT) are so featherbrained about what makes life worth living. I grew up with “Think & Do” books featuring the adventures of Dick and Jane together with their animal companions, (a cat named PUFF and a dog called SPOT). Today’s kids grow up with a remote control device in their hands so they can flick on the latest lessons about life from “Big Bird” or the “Teletubblies”. Frankly since “SPOT” is so full of bleeps, blips and blotchy blobs, it’s not surprising the “digital do-gooders” have written books about how to help the “digitally-challenged” adjust to “virtual reality”.

But, “real people” do not fall in love with “robots” or “intelligent” toys, and clearly know the difference between a “Barbie” doll and a Playboy “bunny”. They like simple, affordable, easy-to-use things that bring them a sense of joy not pain in the brain. And believe it or not, some still like the feel of cold hard cash under a mattress, rather than an unpleasant surprise involving fraud-prone “smart” cards (a.k.a. plastic money) and hacker-friendly on-line banking systems.

On the other hand, while males prefer dogs (that chew bones and bark up the wrong trees), females prefer cats (who keep a clean place and know when hissing and clawing pays off so they never end up in the doghouse). So, like it or not, PUFF - (Personally Useless Facts & Fluff), appeals to everyone regardless of age, race, color, creed, and religion …especially those who have a penchant for tripping the light fantastic in spite of the fact that they’ve got two-left feet and can’t do the Highland Fling, hate bagpipe melodies, and wouldn’t wear a kilt in public unless it comes with a pair of fashionable briefs.

The “deeply digital world” in which we live may have been created by the “Guru of Gobbledygook”, but the GODDESS OF GLITCH still knows when to throw an agonizing little analog aardvark into “systems” devised by “smart people” with swelled heads who think machines are more intelligent than their often muddle-headed makers.

Why are “smart” folk with “soft-skills” spending an inordinate amount of time and money trying to make everyday “hard” objects “intelligent” (be they appliances, blinds, books, cars, drills, key-chains, paint, sneakers, telephones, or wristwatches)? Why are they so interested in taking these objects “beyond their core functions”? Why can’t they live a day without a gadget, gewgaw, or GPS gizmo guiding their every move?

When 80% of us don’t need or use the “cutting-edge” new features of these everyday things, when we can’t be bothered to scroll through a CD-ROM “help” manual to find the “off” button, and don’t have time to take an advanced software course to learn how to program a VCR not to mention how to stop it flashing 12:00 am, it’s time for a hair transplant and a nifty new “plug and play” tune … “Get Your Latest Smart Software With Grunt Work Included for only three easy payments of $29.95 plus shipping and handling charges”!

“Smarty-pants” may have invented all those “productive” pocket technology devices but, fractured fingers and fried brains are a testament to the damage caused by being tethered to them 24/7. Far from visions of “sugar plums dancing in one’s head”, or just a good night’s sleep, the daunting number of daffy devices and incompatible technologies are leading to system screw-ups, BotBattles, and even Robotic Inchworm Drill Flops on Mars!

Stop talking to your PC. Quit running around with your digital camera to capture an artificially-intelligent dinosaur roaming free in Disney Theme Park. And, forget about the latest “smart” night vision on your vehicle; (you shouldn’t be driving anyway, you’ve had one too many “smart” drinks fortified with Gingko Baloba for your own good)!

Why not just take things easy, smell the roses, kiss the Blarney Stone, and whatever you do, share some good-old fashioned fairytales with friends or family …and include a pitcher of fresh milk (courtesy of a contented cow) plus a plate of real cookies (courtesy of Mom’s favorite recipe)!!

About the Author

Dr. Ovid Publius Hadweenzic has a gift of the gab which has taken him far in life including many odd places like http://quippingqueen.blogspot.com/ where he currently hangs his mortarboard for a bit of amusement and arm-wrestling)

“If you elect me, Senator Katherine Laforge, as your next president, my National Sales Tax will give you back true equity in the share of taxes you pay. You will no longer be the utilitarian taxpayer for the elite.” “Hulagu’s Web - chapter 10″

The heroine in “Hulagu’s Web” is a true believer in Frank Chodorov’s compelling view that income tax is the root of all evil. Why, under our current National Income Tax system, do billions in real income earned by criminal endeavors, the underground economy and illegal aliens go totally untaxed? Why are the complexities of our tax code so onerous that only the wealthy can afford the resources, knowledge and ability to truly access expert advice on how to legally minimize their taxes? The answer to these questions is that the everyday wage earner with his passiveness, unquestioned acceptance, and fear of the taxation process has become politically impotent. His nave trust in the wisdom of his elective officials has made him the elite’s utilitarian taxpayer.
It’s time to move the proposal to implement a National Sales Tax out of the realm of political theatre and into reality. The idea bobs up and down during key election years but continues to meet stiff resistance inside the corridors of power. Clearly a vast lobby of Washington’s politicians, lawyers and accountants with special interests seem intent on declaring such a proposal “dead on arrival” before giving it a fair hearing.
However, soon that may change. No less an authority than Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has recently endorsed a National Sales Tax. While Mr. Greenspan has been known to easily roil financial markets by his cryptic oracles on the state of the economy, his stance on a National Sales Tax rings resoundingly clear. Speaking before the President’s Advisory Panel on Federal Tax Reform, Mr. Greenspan said he believed that a consumption tax—such as a National Sales Tax—could spur economic growth. One of his most important arguments was that a consumption tax could lead to increased savings. The reason for this is obvious. If, instead of taxing income, the government taxes spending—then consumers will think twice about what they spend their money on.
Greenspan made it clear that completely eliminating the current income tax with a consumption tax would meet with tremendous opposition and involve a great deal of complex transitional issues. It’s also clear that the loopholes in the current, convoluted tax system continue to benefit the elite and industries.The proposal for a National Sales Tax is part of the President’s push for a complete overhaul of the tax system, a pledge he made in his re-election campaign. It’s clear that no idea is off the table, and this one certainly has a long pedigree. Mr. Greenspan noted that the National Sales Tax was considered back in 1986, but reformers instead chose the more politically cautious approach of working to “overhaul” the current system instead.
So much for “overhauling”—the current tax code is substantially more complicated and confusing now than it was then. The National Retail Sales Tax Alliance, which supports the complete abolition of our current income tax system, gives some key figures that illustrate how complex the system has become. They point out that in the year 2000, the 1040 form alone was 70 lines long, with 117 pages of instructions. Americans spend nearly two hundred billion dollars a year in filing their taxes. The current push for an “overhaul” should do more than simply tiptoe around the elephant in the living room. It should strike a dagger into the heart of this burdensome behemoth once and for all. The current tax system has made liars out of many otherwise decent, hard-working Americans, while providing endless shelters and loopholes for the elite and wealthy.
A National Sales Tax is a more equitable proposal, and would bring in greater revenue streams. Everyone who buys goods or services would pay taxes. Unlike the current system where illegal aliens can dodge their taxes by carrying on business under the table, nobody would be exempt from a National Sales Tax. This includes everyone from the honest workers to hardened criminals or drug traffickers. With the acceptance of a National Sales Tax, endless man-hours and millions of dollars otherwise spent in “audits” would be saved. The chance of property confiscation for improperly paying taxes or going to prison for tax fraud would be alleviated or at least greatly reduced. A National Sales Tax will bring many denizens back into our society as productive members and true citizens of our country.
Our politicians and leaders should not underestimate the great groundswell of support that exists for eliminating the current income tax and replacing it with a National Sales Tax. Nothing taps this nation’s populist impulses like opposition to the tyranny of taxation. Whether it’s the Boston Tea Party, or grassroots organizations like the National Retail Sales Tax Alliance, Americans have always rallied against an unjustly oppressive tax burden.
The idea of streamlining the current tax system, of course, has always been popular with many citizens. Americans should continue to vote and voice their opinions on the matter. It seems that all of our leaders are finally getting the message: the President, the Federal Reserve Chairman and elected officials.
In the political thriller, “Hulagu’s Web: The Presidential Pursuit of Senator Katherine Laforge” (http://www.hulagusweb.com), the charismatic Senator Laforge openly embraces a National Sales Tax as part of her political platform. One of her supporters asks her an important question.
“How much will that add to everything we buy?”
“It probably will be around 14 to 17 percent,” replies Senator Laforge. “At first glance that might sound high to you but remember, no federal tax will be taken out of your pay, so your check will be much higher.”
“Well, if you win, it will be like a revolution here in America,” she is later told.
Indeed, it would be like a revolution.
Critics point out that eliminating the current income tax system would require repealing the 16th Amendment. That is an obstacle but its repeal should not be that difficult. Amendments have been repealed before. For example, the 18th amendment was repealed by the 21st Amendment. The infamous 16th Amendment reads: “The congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several states, and without regard to any census or enumeration.” Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, had already proposed such a repeal a few years ago.
In short, if the utilitarian taxpayers for the elite would just stand up and make their plight known to their representatives, the politicians would take note and likely accept the will of the people. Clearly, only a popular ground swell of the voting public can change this broken tax system. By putting government representatives on notice that their honeymoon with a National Income Tax is no longer acceptable, we can hopefully unburden ourselves with the intrusive, regressive and oppressive Income Tax system of today.
“If the elite and publicity seeking celebrities can muster thousands in favor of Income Tax, then you, the hard working unrepresented taxpayers must come out in droves to create the million man march for the repeal of the 16th amendment and freedom from the yoke of taxation slavery.” “Hulagu’s Web Chapter 10″
Let these words from Senator LaForge be the marching orders for every American committed to a fair system of taxation under a National Sales Tax. Frank Chodorov’s book, “The Income Tax: Root of All Evil,” can be downloaded for free off the Internet and should be required reading for all of us.

About the Author

Bio for Nader Ghali
A computer programmer working in the telecommunications industry for the past six years, Nader Ghali lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma and spends his free time writing on subjects ranging from computer security to economic and political issues.

Here’s 5 top tips to bear in mind next time you complete your lottery playslip. They won’t increase your CHANCES of winning - because ONLY more entries can do that.

BUT they can significantly increase the AMOUNT you win when your numbers do come up.

How?

Because all 5 lottery tips are based on avoiding the way a lot of other people pick their numbers. If you pick lottery numbers the same way as most people do, then when you hit the jackpot, you share that prize with everybody else who picked the same numbers.

That can turn a jackpot pool of millions into a prize of just thousands! It happens all too often - so please don’t let it happen to you.

Here’s those quick tips for making sure that your lottery jackpot is the life changing sum you are looking for:

[1] Don’t pick numbers that have already won, especially not from recent draws. Many players believe that winnings numbers are somehow lucky and therefore more likely to come up. Of course that isn’t true, but a lot of people do it.

[2] Don’t pick numbers based on an arithmetic sequences, such as 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, or 01, 11, 21, 31, 41, 49. People like number patterns - you would be stunned at how many people pick this way every single week.

[3] Don’t pick numbers according to a ‘tip’ service. Just imagine how many other people will use the same numbers!

[4] Don’t pick numbers purely according to family birthdays. Enormous numbers of lottery players choose the day of the birthday of family members when selecting lottery numbers. But there are only 31 days at most in a month - which means an awful lot of people pick all their numbers in that range.

[5] Don’t make a pattern on your playslip. Diagonal or straight lines in any direction, star shapes, boxes, zig-zags etc. You might think who else would do that? The answer is anywhere from tens of people to tens of THOUSANDS of people!

The easiest, fastest way to pick better lottery numbers, is to pick them totally at random. So pull scraps of paper out of a bag. It won’t guarantee NOT picking a ‘bad’ set of numbers, but at least there’s a good chance you won’t be sharing your lottery millions with a hundred other ‘lucky’ winners.

Be lucky.

Martin Waterhouse is a lottery and statistics fan - who is not popular with the vendors of expensive lottery ’systems’ based on dodgy maths and mumbo-jumbo! Publisher of the internets foremost lottery syndicate review and lottery tips site, Lottery-Syndicate-World…

Want better chances of winning the lottery in an instant? Find the worlds best lottery syndicates online today at >>> http://www.lottery-syndicate-world.com

When a business goes global, there is a risk of being not properly understood in other languages, or, even worse, misunderstood. That is why, when you are going to expand your business, your success can depend on the person who translates your website, documentation, ads and so on.

Don’t insist on translating your text word-by-word or sentence-by-sentence. Contrary to the popular belief, the translation won’t be more accurate this way. Just the opposite is true: a translator who translates word-by-word is a BAD translator, or a mediocre one — at the most.

A MEDIOCRE translator will diligently substitute words, word-combinations and idioms of one language for those of another language. He searches piles of dictionaries for various lexical units. He will be really proud of the result. Don’t blame him — he probably is conscientious and hard-working. The only drawback is that his translation won’t work.

A GOOD translator will care for the MESSAGE of your text. He realizes that good translation isn’t just finding right words. He will try to find right linguistic means to convey your message; what’s more, he will leave your style intact. He will be proud of the result, too — and he has the reason to think so. Your message will be conveyed — in every respect. Will it work? That’s another question.

The difference between a GOOD and an EXCELLENT translator is the following: an EXCELLENT translator will care for the GOAL of your message. Before he stats the work, an excellent translator asks himself simple questions: does your message fit into this particular culture? Will the audience accept it? If the answer is “no”, he will always warn you about it.

Will you appreciate his advice? You’d better do. It might be not too pleasant for you to learn that your text is not perfect (especially if you thought it was). Of course, you can put this smart Aleck down. You are the Client, so you’re always right. He will translate the text he is given the way you want. As a result, you will get what you ordered — a MEDIOCRE translation.

That is why it is reasonable to listen to an expert (an excellent translator will always serve you as an expert on the culture of your target audience — even if you haven’t asked for it and are not going to pay extras for such a consultation.) Sometimes these advice might seem a bit odd to you; that’s because such a translator is able to think like a person who will be visiting your website.

Be prepared to throw some expressions, phrases, or whole paragraphs away or re-write them - working perfectly in one language, they won’t do in another. Be ready to change photos and illustrations, sometimes redo the graphics and alter the whole style of your website if necessary.

Cooperate with your translator — it pays. Do this work now and you’ll be rewarded with success of your business in a foreign country.

Linguist by profession, Alexandra Gamanenko currently takes part in a design studio project. It offers localization and translation of websites into Russian and Ukrainian, as well as lots of other useful services.

Learn more — visit the website www.clever-crayon.com

There are two crucial things to ponder over when obtaining a new television. First, what specific size TV would you like to get, and secondly whether to buy an LCD, Plasma or LED TV.

The first thing to think about is the precise size of the television you are looking to acquire. Today most people are opting to get hold of flat panel products; regardless that the older bulky TVs are still currently available in a number of retail shops. The screen size is one of the most fundamental things to consider when purchasing a brand new television. A 22″ product might not be a reasonable idea for a big room; whilst a 72″ model is in all probability an awful selection for a tiny bedroom. If you put forty-two inch television into a tiny bedroom the picture clarity will without doubt suffer. This is on account of the fact that bigger screens are not supposed to be watched up close. Another vital thing to consider is the screen ratio. Many favour 16:9 or wide display, whereas others prefer the 4:3 customary viewing ratios.

Once you have chosen what specific size television is correct for you and your needs, you ought to reach a decision on what type of telly you want. The 3 most popular choices are LCD, Plasma, or LED. LCD televisions are one of the most well-liked choices on the market. The prices of both an LCD and Plasma television has reduced in the last couple years. LED televisions on the contrary are still very pricey, even though they are by far the most energy efficient choice. LCD and Plasma tellies both have pluses and negatives. For instance, plasma tellies can only be acquired in sizes bigger than forty-two inches, meaning that if you buy a smaller telly you should acquire an LCD or LED product. LCD models use a substantial amount less electricity than a similar sized plasma product; although Plasmas have considerably better viewing angles. The quality could differ depending on the make as well. For instance, a Sony LCD TV may well look better than a Samsung LCD TV; however Samsung Plasmas may look better than Sony Plasmas. The product life span of both LCD and Plasma tellies is thought to be in the region of twenty years. The prices are almost identical, although lately Plasma models have seemed to be a touch cheaper. Find a diverse assortment of technology products such as; TVs, LCD televisions and Samsung televisions from leading brands online.

TV quality can vary from brand to brand plus by size. Price also differs a great deal even within one size. Overall, the selection of a TV is a personal decision. The best way to get a television is to examine the televisions next to each other.